And this time, for me. Yesterday marked not only Miss Sasha turning 6 months, but also my breastfeeding for 6 months. This has probably been the hardest thing about having a baby; I knew it isn't easy for every mom to breastfeed, but didn't really expect it'd be that difficult for me. In the beginning, we had problems with Sasha's latch, for the first week or so, she didn't get enough milk, not gaining enough weight. So I switched to pumping and giving her breastmilk in a bottle. Now looking back, I do wish I've stuck to trying to breastfeed more, there are organizations and nurses at the Lenox Hill I could've gotten in touch with more to really help out, but I think I was just very stressed out and upset. It was hard for me and it was very painful. And I think Z being able to feed her also came into the equation. With our next (whenever that is), I am determined to try harder.
But with such a rough start, I first set 2 months as a mini-goal for myself, then 3 months. Then 6 months. And I've gotten here. I feel like I'm giving my daughter the best start that I can. Now my big goal is 1 year, we'll see how that goes. I'm pretty determined about it, but I have to admit I have moments where I say to Z "I'm tired of constant pumping and depending on being near my pump at all times. And I want my old body back." - which let's be honest isn't very realistic anyway. Then I suddenly realize that I'm being selfish thinking that way. So here's to another six months!
5 years ago